Routallica – WAN / Metallica – One

Original song courtesy of Metallica
No copyright infringement intended, just having fun

Routallica – WAN

I can’t connect to anything
Can’t tell if this is routing or bridging
Deep down inside I want to ping
This terrible access-list stops me

Now that the routes are passed to me
Network is convergin, but I cannot see
And there are not many neighbors here
Nothing is up but loopbacks

Hold my frames as I wait for STP
Oh please, broadcasts, don’t storm me

Back in the WAN it’s much too serial
Terrible speeds that I must feel
But I look forward to police
Police those excess TCP bursts

Weighted RED is throttling me
Just like a greedy TCP stream
Class-based shaping’s buffering me
Dropping tokens from the bucket

Hold my updates as I split horizons
Oh please, RIP, route me

Now the network’s gone, I’m just one
Oh redundant link, help me
Split my brain as my peer faces death
Oh please, VSS, help me

VLANs imprisoning me
No adjacency
Asymmetric routing
I cannot ping
I cannot trace
Trapped in my shell
Subnet my holding cell

Black holes have poisoned my routes
Taken my ping
Taken my peering
Taken my ARPs
Taken my V(e)RFs
Taken my pools
Left me with Frame Relaaay

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